Commitment Phobe: The Fear of US

Lang Leav Poetry Books
If we look back a century or so ago, terms like twerking, selfie, hashtags and Netflix did not exist. That’s just the way life is, right? Technology continues to change as we adapt and our survival instinct continues to develop to withstand unpredictable weather conditions. We evolve – we continue to evolve, but is it really for the better?

The Fear Within

Remember when loyalty and trust were rarely questioned? When the intention of a man to the girl he’s vying for was made clearly from the very beginning? When commitment was not something to be afraid of, but something that is given to those who deserve love.

I don’t even blame you. With the society and its madness these days, who would not be scared to take that risk? Everybody wants assurance but how can you tell if the person you want to take the leap of faith with is 100% committed to you?

Let me now take a page from my own book. I’ve always been a romantic. It may be more difficult to find someone “real” because of these lying cheating bastards these days, but I’ve never lost my faith in fate.

You have your cheating rats on one side and those commitment-phobes on the other. Frankly, I’d rather not be involved with any of the two. I don’t like games, I don’t like wasting my time and I’ll tell you straight up. Why waste your time on those damn games when you can spend the rest of your lives falling in love instead? Is that not a better option?

 The Heartbreaking Lesson

You know that moment when you find someone who makes everything in life perfect? It’s that second when you take off that pink steel armor, which you did not even know you were wearing in the first place. Everything made perfect sense until one day, he tells you he’s not ready for a commitment. Questions start racking your brain and you begin to wonder where it all went wrong. You need to wipe all those tears away and remember that it’s not you. It’s not your fault he has trust issues. It’s not your fault he built up this paranoia. It’s not your fault he cannot commit. It’s not your fault.

If you really, really, really, really like him, take that risk. Wait for him. If you like him that much, you wouldn’t even worry about the wasted time you spent waiting for him. You will find days where you ask him when he will be ready, then you’ll cry yourself to sleep knowing that it’s not the answer you’ve been waiting for. It will be a miserable cycle. You’ve helplessly fallen for him so you keep on waiting.

He will make you happy but at the end of the day, you will always feel miserable. You will leave and then come back again. The non-commitment still bothers you, it will always bother you for you’ve subjected yourself to a situation where you never wanted to be in the first place. But you keep on waiting, you keep on coming back to him – for love.

You keep on waiting until you get tired. You keep on waiting until you find the courage to leave. You find the courage because you can’t take it anymore. You find the courage because you can no longer be an option. You find the courage to find yourself again.

One day, you will look back and you won’t even regret your choices, you gave him time and memories which you can never get back but at least you took that chance – for love.

The Quest for True Love

You will look back months or years later holding the hand of your one true love. You will feel an inexpressible delight in your heart while smiling like a complete fool at your lover. You’ll find yourself laughing at your stupid decisions in the past. You might even wish that none of it happened. However, without the difficulties and heartaches you experienced, you won’t be the same person your partner fell in love with. You won’t be the stronger, saner and mature version that you are right now.

Instead of looking at your past with bitterness, let go of all the negativity. You know what they say, everything happens for a reason. He could either be a blessing or a lesson. Who knows? You might have turned his fears around. Who knows? He might have given you something positive about your life. It’s like what my love taught me, “No Mud. No lotus.” You don’t have to run away from all the pain. Embrace it. Risk it. Always take that chance for love. Sooner or later, you will find him and all the pain in the past will be worth it. Your trust issues will fade away and his love will be the only certainty you’ll need.

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